#85 | Unrealistic expectations
This week a mentor told me to lower my expectations. Everything in this market (adult social care in local government) takes ages, he said, and patience is a virtue. I agree that patience is a virtue; yes, it takes a long time. But, BULLSHIT! I shouted. I don't think we should ever lower our expectations.
Our expectations define the outcomes of our lives. This definition is not a loose, messy, google translate type of definition; because we rarely exceed our expectations, they set an upper limit on what we achieve.
People only beat their expectations in marathons when they plan to take things leisurely, get competitive, and then crush them. And that is a very niche situation. Outside of that, expectations set a cap on outcomes. I like unreasonably optimistic people who hold unreasonably high standards. It's not a flaw but a feature. Shooting for the moon and landing on the clouds is preferable to shooting at clouds and hitting the floor. If you aim low, you'll never hit the moon!
Online, there's a lot of advice about dealing with employers with unrealistic expectations:
It's important to communicate with your supervisor and offer feedback if you feel that you're facing unrealistic expectations in your role. Consider meeting with your manager and vocalising your perspective. They may understand why you feel this way and offer solutions for a more feasible workload.
But, I wonder what realistic expectations are? If everyone knew how incredibly talented they were and what they could do if they only wanted to, there would be no concept. Nor any HR click bait articles. There would be no limit on our expectations.
Ultimately, satisfying moonshot dreams does not necessitate working harder, longer hours or to the bone. It could require working less but working on the right things.
With Yokeru, we keep realising that a ton of the stuff we're working on is the wrong thing — and we have to keep reminding ourselves to work a bit less and to only work on the thing that matters. This happily means more weekends of kite surfing, hiking, or — as Mont is proving right now — smoking dope in Morocco. Surely this can't be a way of reaching the unassailable heights of unrealistic expectations?! You’d think so, but sitting with a book and having camomile tea can go a long way.
The best gift we can give ourselves is keeping the company of those who expect more than they are likely to get. What a wonderful world to enjoy if our friends want healthier relationships and skydiving medals. Suppose they want to complete arctic expeditions, climb Everest, and become pop stars. Or they wish to paint a portrait of the queen and write countless books. Even if they want more enormous boobs (actually, no, not this last one), ‘dreamers’ help us disregard the barriers society forces upon us and de-limit our expectations. Then we can return to our natural unrealistic impassioned selves, who dream of doing stuff and then do it.
My week in books
1984 by George Orwell. Did you know he was called Eric Arthur Blair? I didn't! I love this book; it's one of my faves. A quote:
“You are a slow learner, Winston."
"How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? Two and two are four."
"Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane.”
Live well,
Hector
epic read bro